by Abbye W.
Before I studied abroad, I thought my biggest fear would be getting lost in a foreign city, struggling with the language barrier, or being far away from home. But honestly, my biggest fear was much simpler: what if I don’t make friends?
I remember arriving abroad feeling excited, but also completely terrified. I didn’t know anyone else in the same program as me, and I worried that everyone else would already find their people before I did. I am so lucky that I was completely wrong. If you had told me then that leaving those same people would become the hardest part of my entire experience, I probably wouldn’t have believed you.
At the beginning, friendships abroad feel uncertain. You meet so many people at once that it can honestly feel overwhelming. Some people seem very different from you. Some friendships feel forced at first. Some people you expect to become close with never really do, while the people you least expect somehow become a part of your closest circle.
That’s why one of the biggest lessons I learned abroad is not to judge a book by its cover.
Some of my closest friends abroad were people I almost never talked to during the first week. Some friendships started from random gelato runs, late-night walks, missed trains, grocery store trips, or cooking our dinners together in the dorm kitchen. The relationships that ended up meaning the most were rarely the ones I expected from the beginning.
What surprised me most was how quickly strangers started feeling like family. There’s something about being abroad together that speeds everything up. You experience so much in such a short amount of time: confusion, excitement, homesickness, culture shock, joy, spontaneity. And somehow, it all bonds you together.
Some of my favorite memories weren’t even the big trips or famous landmarks. They were the ordinary moments.
The nights we all stayed in the dorm lobby laughing until 3am. The conversations while getting ready to explore new cities. Cooking random meals together. Watching movies in the cinema after long school days. Sitting on the couches talking about life, relationships, family, and what we wanted after graduation. Those moments felt small at the time, but looking back, they became everything.
Of course, traveling together created unforgettable memories too. Sunset horseback rides, beach days, church explorations, hikes, and hostel “sleepovers”; my experience abroad would not have been the same without the people I did it with. And, somehow, even the stressful moments became the stories we laughed about later. Missed buses, wrong turns, canceled trains, getting caught in the rain, language mix-ups; all of it became part of the experience.
And then suddenly, the end came.
I don’t think anyone prepares you for how strange the last week abroad feels. You spend months building this life that eventually starts to feel normal. The people become part of your daily routine. The city becomes familiar. The once-scary unknown becomes home.
Then all at once, everyone starts packing.
The goodbye dinners start happening. People begin leaving one by one. The dorm gets quieter. And you realize that this chapter you were once terrified to start is now the chapter you never want to end.
Leaving my friends abroad was harder than I expected because they weren’t just people I traveled with anymore. They were the people who understood exactly what that experience meant. They saw every version of me during those months; the overwhelmed version, the homesick version, the adventurous version, the happiest version.
Saying goodbye felt impossible because it felt like leaving behind a version of my life that I could never fully recreate again.
But if there’s one thing I would tell anyone nervous about studying abroad, it’s this: trust the process.
You do not need to have everything figured out during the first week. You do not need to instantly find your best friends. You do not need to force connections that don’t feel natural. The right people will find you naturally through shared experiences, random moments, and simply spending time together. Sometimes the friendships that change your life begin in the most ordinary ways.
Be open to people who are different from you. Say yes to invitations, even when you feel nervous. Put yourself out there, even when it feels uncomfortable. Some of your favorite memories will come from moments you almost skipped because you were scared.
And most importantly, remember that everyone else is nervous too.
Study abroad taught me so much about travel and independence, but more than anything, it taught me how deeply people can impact your life in such a short amount of time.
I left home afraid I wouldn’t make friends, I came home wishing I didn’t have to leave them.
How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.